Very well done Mitch! As a parent who took over sole custody of my child when he was just about into their teen years, this article rings so very true. My Boy is now a man and has mostly worked through the trauma of his childhood, I hear ya. Have seen, felt, experienced these things myself and tried to through the eyes and talks with my son. I often feel guilty for not seeing this emotional and fully psychotic co-parent as they truly were and not taking full custody of my son from divorce. I would have loved to have him. Being the early 1990’s I’ll quote what my attorney told me when I said I wanted physical custody. “Unless she is a hooker, turning tricks with your child in the room while shooting heroin, you will never get Phsical custody…,”. That was that. I tried to be a good father as best as the situation could be dealt with. Once finally divorced, she moved my boy an hour plus away after I purchased a condo within 5 minutes of where they were living. I thought I was doing my best, I was a good provider, a good Weeknd Disneyland dad and gave my son my most heartfelt and desperate unconditional love. It was not enough! It was not enough to save him from the other co-parents constant emotional abuse. A Fascist evangelical “praise the lord, fuck you!” Type of gal. I told her he was gay at age 7-8 and to be prepared and so she could prepare and modify her ungodly beliefs before he grew up. That did not work, she made him loath himself to suicidal ideation. I chose unwisely in my mate. My son paid for it and it kills be even today.

It all mostly stopped once he came to live with me full time. However, he clung to the idea his biological mother (co-parent), could be a good loving parent and desperately tried to have a relationship with that person until about 5 years ago. Once he let go, he has begun to heal very well and is an accomplished, reasonably well adjusted loving young man, with more work to be done. I am truly proud of him and grateful that he did not end up as can happen. A truly emotionally sick adult. He is my most valued treasure!

Informative and educational article, excellent. It hit me hard as I remember his pain and our pain together trying my best to parent a teen who I did not understand was returned broken. The egg donor of a co-parent is well past the age of conceiving ever again. I hear the Angels Rejoice at that simple fact. Thank you Mitch!